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Of course, I do not mean everything in our world. But I do mean all the human problems. That is a pretty grand statement, don’t you think. All human problems of harm to each other, comes down to one thing. We do not do our work. Each and everyone of us humans, has been conditioned to believe in something, to hold on to an identity, to put our ideas before our seeing another directly, believe in nations and religions, etc. To do one’s work, is to rid yourself of all this. We simply do not want to do this.
A fact is, we do not even understand that becoming self-aware is even a part of this. We harm others because we don’t recognize that other as having importance. Of course, there are those who have done some work and I see them as having a limited presence. They claim to be open and “non-judgmental”, but they still adhere to a belief system, a value system, and an identity to many things. They think that being open and aware is a valuable concept. That is the antithesis of awareness.
When we are grandly unaware, we define everything as “for or against us”. And us, means all those things we hold dear. Whether that is our guns, or power, our religion, our country, our “way” or anything else we identify with. To be fully present, all that goes away. We simply do not want to go there. We want peace and love and we simply do not want to do what it takes to achieve that. We want to have peace while holding to all the root causes of violence.

All violence, in its many forms stems from separation. Being separate from someone, sets up the basis of conflict. Do I agree or disagree. Are we on the same page in life or are you too different. We do have levels of tolerance that lets us live with those around us, as long as they are in a similar state of conditioning. If I am conditioned as a male who believes that women are less than me, I can see them as objects of being less and becoming unfeeling to taking advantage of them. It is just what men do.

Other nations have different credo’s and economic systems and religions. All concepts that may differ from you own. The stronger we hold to our views, the more potential for distrust, suspicion and even war. We want to control others, whether at the national level or personal level. It is all about control based on our need to protect our identity and illusion that life is a concept. It is not. To be beyond a conceptual view of life is to be fully conscious.

We can come close with our beliefs of openness, free thinking, inclusion values, peace loving, etc. But all that is just more of the same. Believing in peace and love just adds to the problem. Being peace and love solves all the problems. And I know you don’t see the difference. And now you may be thinking, how does he know I don’t see the difference. If you do, please explain it to all those around you. Tlane 10/18/17


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I remember back in the 70’s and early 80’s when all the rage was about our lack of communication in the world. The guru’s of the time kept preaching that we need to reach out and communicate, to talk to each other, to create dialogue, to enhance common understanding. I remember thinking that “I am not so sure about that”. Lots of “groups” were set up and the problem was that mostly like minded people started talking. And yes, it did raise issues and created some clarity, and then faded from view.

Then the birth of the internet and all the promises of an even greater understanding and communication, on a world wide basis. Ah yes, just with expressing how we feel and believe will create common bond and understanding. Truly listening and accepting other’s views will bridge our divides. We will get enhanced perspectives and connections. Obviously, it has not happened that way. I am sure there has been some tweaks in understanding, especially when the views were not too far apart. Those that were very far apart, only created animosity.

And now the addition of diminishing being “politically correct”, we have license to express how we really feel. We now have outright hostility toward those who would dare disagree with us. Lines are drawn in ways we have never seen. Enemies have been created where none were before. “Ah, now I know where you stand on Trump”! “So, that is how you really feel about that?” “ I always wondered about you”. And on and on around people now being honest about where we stand.

We have gained little and lost much. What used to disagreements are now out and out verbal wars. We have found our “like minded’ allies in places and spaces we never ventured. Things we would not say to another face to face, become ok in the autonomy of the cyberspace. And then add on the professional cyber bullies, and we have greater divides than ever… So much for more communication on a grander scale. It is more anger and distance on a grander scale.

Why did this not work when so many thought it was the issue, way back then? For me, communication is never the issue, but becoming aware of what and why you communicate. Becoming aware of how your mind “hears” things. How we interpret info. How we translate it. How we are conditioned to react. How we see ourselves in this world. How make meaning in this world.

If we think that all of our internal processes are secondary to simply “communicating”, then we are truly lost in this world. We create meaning and understanding with the conditioning of our mind. Anyone who thinks, that we all have the same meaning of words, the same understanding of how life works, the same framework for grasping reality, and so much more, is living in an illusion of our own making.
We all live in a world of our own creation. We do not live in similar worlds, except at the most basic level. Once you get beyond the sun rises and sets, we all have to eat, live in shelter, and make a living, it goes in many directions. We have to go inward first, discover our meaning making mechanism, and then to realize this goes on in everyone, before any kind of commination can work. We want to talk without understanding how communication works. We are simply blowing in the wind. Tlane 10/9/17

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I just had a little flash about that last paper. I wondered if any of you feel offended by that. Are you offended by me saying all your beliefs and ideas and values are CRAP? They are, but I just would like you to respond to me and justify your insanity of believing.

Do you so completely believe that you do not see that the concept of life is simply not LIFE? Do you think that actual life is an idea? Do you not notice that an idea of something is not the actual thing. Do you truly believe that that you can drink the word water? Do you have so much attachment to the idea of something that you can not see that it is not actual?

This is sad, for if you do, you are just like the guy that shot all those people. You “believe” that they are your enemies. The source of your problems, and all problems is the problems inside your head, not out there. Tlane 10/3/17

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Ah, another mass shooting in our world. Another round of discussion and call for more laws. Another round of defensiveness of our “right” to be armed. Another analysis about what “made this guy do this”. Another apology from the powers that be, in why we cannot defy the 2nd amendment. Another battle of “rights”. Another round of painful stories of how this changed lives. And on and on and on. Don’t you ever get tired of it, or does your self-righteousness and the energy of that keep you charging on?

This is, of course, not to dismiss any of the tragedy of this, or to make it less important. To each and every parent, spouse or child of this, this is overwhelmingly sad. No doubt of that. But how many of these do we endure, without asking what is the root cause. The pundits, experts, media, politicians, and all the rest, will posit that it is “too many guns”, too much lack of security, too much ease in getting guns, or whatever. We want to blame the shooter. We want to blame the system. We want to point to anything but ourselves.

This guy shot lots of people, because he did not see the world beyond his own self centeredness. He saw the world as the cause of his issues. It did not matter who exactly that was. It was them. It was the world out there. It was not about him and his personal insanity. We created him. He is a product of our society. We are him and he is us. Pogo. We have found the enemy and it is us!

We have been conditioned into a world of separate individuals. We have grown to see us against them. We have lost empathy. We have lost connection. When anyone lives this way, it is a formula for disaster. We find that feeling/thinking as the source of our discontent. In that world, we can only strike back. We can only justify our lashing out as “they deserve this for “hurting me” like this”. It is insanity at its worst.

We only know our reality, based on whatever crap you have been conditioned with. And yes, you have been conditioned with CRAP. I do not care what your beliefs or religion or values or morality, it is all CRAP. Believing in some abstraction of the world is the issue. And all, and I do mean ALL of your beliefs and values are CRAP.. It is what separates you from actual life. Believing in love is not love. Love is presence. Believing in peace, is not peace.

So, here we are again, with such pain and suffering and again we will not use it to find the root cause. We will have opinions, arguments, defenses, and so much more. And everyone will think we are dealing with this, and it will go NOWHERE. Just like our love of war. Nowhere. We love our justifications on both sides that let us walk away, and say “they are wrong” and continue the insanity. Not seeing that the root cause is living in the abstraction of concepts of what is right.
It is always a battle of my right against your right. And we do not see how that leads to you killing me and me killing you. First with words and then with guns. Insanity.. tlane 10/3/127

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So many people have criticized Trump, that it feels redundant to repeat most of that. But the issue that I see as most critical, is the way he mentally approaches the world. He seems to see everything as a struggle, a win/lose battle, survival of fittest game, or a kind of one up-manship duel. He is always looking for the advantage over someone. What a way to live.

The saddest part of this, is that it does set an example for the young people. After all, he is the top position in our country, and no matter how you may want to protect young minds, he is there! He is the “man”. No one wins in this scenario. If you say nothing to the kids in your house, it a message by default. If you constantly try to confront this social force, then there is the power struggle playing out in young minds that do not get some of the issues at hand. What they get, is that he keeps driving his/her parents crazy. That is power.

And if you are a Trump supporter, and do not question his antics (or Presidential policy and direction, as some may say) then you have children being conditioned by a bully. This is a powerful message that would easily go unnoticed by parents. They are watching the noise (meaning that they may not grasp the process) and your reaction in the whole thing. But they do get demeaning words, shouting, name calling, slurs, and all the rest. It is what kids do and they recognize it in adults. And if that is your own household, it begins to give the message that the world is an angry, hateful, and nasty place.

What does that say to a young person? Think about that. Do you like the way you engage with those around you? Do you think there may be a better way? Would you be proud of your child growing up and being in a relationship like the one you are in!! Would you like your child to be “Trump-like”?

This is not some temporary political situation. Your children are watching and learning. And most humans are perfectly happy with their kids growing up just like them. This is how we carry on the insanity. And that is on both sides of the spectrum. Are you a good role model for your children? Are you reflecting a good way to live? Do you want your children/grandchildren to be “like you”

The sad answer to all that for many people is a “yes”. Why is that sad? Because we do not see how we have created this world by our example, handed down from parent to parent, year after year. We are not much different than those eons ago. We want to play out the conditioning of our lives with our children, even though, in many cases, our life has been a struggle and miserable.

This is hard to look at. We want to believe the way we have chosen to live our lives, is a good and positive way. Even in the face of so much personal struggle. We blame those “out there” on our issues. Those who “don’t get it”. We victimize our life, and pass on the struggle.. As the Donald would say, “SAD” tlane 9/26/17

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If you are not watching the Ken Burns documentary on PBS, you should be. It is a great telling of that time in our history. And a great capturing of the pain, distrust, division, hatred, heroics, struggle, and so much more. I cry a lot watching this. Tears of empathy, sadness, and in this case, a little bit more personal.

This is the first time I have watched a documentary and knew where I was in so many instances. Everyone remembers 9/11, or when Kennedy was assassinated, or other major event, but I remember where I was for many moments over the 3 years I was in the Army at that time. I was in Korea, not Viet Nam, but being in the service was a strange thing at that time. We knew little of what was going on, even less than you back in the states. But as the awareness grew, I found great sadness.

I want to tell a story of my time at Fort Knox in ’68. I was just beginning to realize the insanity of this war, but being in the Army, you don’t say much. I was in Finance, which meant that I paid a lot of enlisted men. I normally handled around 400 soldiers, but one day my supervisor came to me,(because I was the best one at the job there) and asked me to process out a new Air Cav unit heading to Viet Nam.

This was early 1968. Processing out, meant that you had to meet with each soldier, sit down with them and figure out how they wanted their pay, allotments, and “death benefit” to be managed. It all had to be set up, all the forms and dollars assigned (few GI’s got their full pay incountry), and where did the military death benefit of $10,000 go to. All had to be arranged and certified. I spent at least a half hour with every man. Close to 400 enlisted men.

As they were preparing to ship out, I remember the Top Sergeant coming in to see me. He was this huge black man with a gentle voice. He thanked me for taking care of his men. He wanted me to know they all thought I was very helpful. He said that having this out of the way was a comfort to them, and a bigger comfort to him, for he knew…… As he left, he stood and shook my hand. My hand disappeared into his huge hand that did not squeeze, but held mine. The sincerity in his eyes was so genuine.

They shipped out, and I, to be honest, did not think much about it. About 3 months later, my supervisor came over to my desk, leaned in close and told me that she had heard that over half of my group, had been killed or wounded within 2 months of getting to Viet Nam. I knew them all. Not well, but they were faces with families. It really struck me, and I know not nearly as hard as their loved ones, but they were real to me. Not numbers.

After that, my outlook on this craziness changed. I watched the steady parade of wounded young men, come thru our office to get their final severance pay. Guys younger than me with missing limbs, blinded, or with wounds I could not see. The hospital at Ft Knox was a rehab hospital for those returning.

I think this is a key part of my journey. To be up close, without being in combat, showed me the before and after while missing the action.. It was enough. These were young men, and I prepared the documents to pay their moms and dads their final benefit. We joked while doing this, with each thinking he won’t need it. Many did.

And as I watch the documentary, I wonder who was doing that for all the young men dying on the other side. They too had moms and dads who would never see them again. The horror goes both ways. No one wins in wars. And I wonder how long before we look to the root cause. Mostly we sit and protest, or support, or scream at each other, and no one looks at how we are all part of this insanity. We are the world. Even if you never got out of your comfy home town, you made that war. You make all the wars. We created this world society, we suffer the consequences. Peace.. tlane 9/25/17

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We are in some strange times. With hurricanes, wild fires, flooding, Trump, North Korea, racial tensions, hacking, etc. What do we do in all this. More specifically, I wonder what I do. I pretty much stand apart from all this, but I do wonder, at times, is there something I need to be doing? I do write this stuff for anyone who wants to take a different look at things. But is that enough?

When I ask that of myself, I do not come up with much. I do contribute money, but not much of my time and energy. So many now are playing the activist, in so many different realms. You know what I mean. And many are doing the physical helping, which I am too old to do now. That is the only level that I find commendable.

What do you do when you find yourself outside the norm? I know most who know me, even a bit, would describe me as a liberal. I am not that. I did reluctantly vote Democratic this last presidential election for the first time in almost 50 years. (in case you are wondering, I did not vote at all in those years) That was only to try to prevent a crazy person from winning. But, I see all of politics as a symptom of our collective insanity. I prefer to not join that crowd.

So, what do I do? How do I engage this world when I clearly see that living in a “believed” world, or a world based on judgement of good/bad or right/wrong is an illusion. I clearly do not like living in the illusion. But it is the only game in town. Sincere writers go to great lengths to defend their positions about what should and should not be done in the world. The only place I tend to agree with them, in my heart, is that we should not kill everyone.

I read many of those viewpoints, I watch the news about all those viewpoints, I hear debates on whose positions are the right ones, and I find all of them lacking. This does not place me in good stead with the liberals of the world.

Then there is all the energy around the meditation, mindfulness, yoga, peace marches, etc. I do find that I get what they are doing, but I cannot go there. (I remember back in 69 when I was in college and there were Viet Nam protests, and I could not join, since I had just come out of serving in the Army and saw protesting the military was absurd). I have never met a person who is into all that, who is not a liberal. Nothing against liberals, or conservatives, they both have their choices of being unconscious. Awareness holds no position.

So what do I do. I guess I sit on the porch, observe the world and write this stuff and throw it out to the world. I assume my friends will forgive me and my lack of activism. And those who do not, I could care less. Tlane 9/12/17

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